A revisit to my breakup with Fettuccine Alfredo in 2007
Dear fettuccine alfredo,
We’ve been through a lot of good times together, right? After all – you have been my favorite food since I was little. [see attached photos] There’s just always been something about you. So warm, so yummy, so creamy & delicious.
Sure, there have been others (i.e. spaghetti break-up of ’96) but I always come back to you in the end. & yet, we’re no good for each other. Actually, to be honest, you are no good for me. It has just turned into a few dirty one-night-stands & a lot of awkwardness. You hurt my soul, sure – but more importantly, you hurt my stomach.
It’s over, fettucine alfredo.
In time I know I will think of you fondly.
sincerely,
–Allison
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Ha! Hilarious and sad and true. It hurts my stomach, too. Why are you slithering around and hurting everyone’s stomachs, fettuccine alfredo?
You’re handling the breakup with a lot of cool-headedness and diplomacy, my dear! Those baby photos had me rethinking my stance on a certain issue. Bet you were a danger baby.