I always get asked, ‘Where do you get your confidence?’ I think people are well meaning, but it’s pretty insulting. Because what it means to me is, ‘You, Mindy Kaling, have all the trappings of a very marginalized person. You’re not skinny, you’re not white, you’re a woman. Why on earth would you feel like you’re worth anything?’
Therapists want to help us throw out what is unwanted and keep only what is wanted. but what is left may not be very much. If we try to throw away what we don’t want, we may throw away most of ourselves.
I want [female characters] to be allowed to be weak and strong and happy and sad – human, basically. The fallacy in Hollywood is that if you’re making a ‘feminist’ story, the woman kicks ass and wins. That’s not feminist, that’s macho. A movie about a weak, vulnerable woman can be feminist if it shows a real person that we can empathize with.
Beyoncé isn’t Beyoncé because she reads comments on the Internet. Beyoncé is in Ibiza, wearing a stomach necklace, walking hand in hand with her hot boyfriend. She’s going on the yacht and having a mimosa. She’s not reading shitty comments about herself on the Internet, and we shouldn’t either. I just think, Would Beyoncé be reading this? No, she would just delete it or somebody would delete it for her. What I really need to do is close the computer and then talk back to that voice and say, Fuck you. I don’t give a shit what you think. I’m Beyoncé. I’m going to Ibiza with Jay-Z now, fuck off. Being criticized is part of the job, but seeking it out isn’t. That’s our piece to let go.
That’s something that has been a defining feature of my life as an adult. It’s manageable. But it’s real. & it doesn’t take away from my joy or my work or my energy, but coping with depression is something that is part of the everyday way that I live & have lived for as long as I can remember…Depression for me, you can’t distract your way out of it. When you are depressed, it’s like the rest of the world is the mother ship, & you’re out there on a little pod & your line gets cut & you don’t connect with anything. You sort of disappear.
I remember using card catalogs. & I have fond memories of flipping through the cards, trying to close a drawer that needed a bit of an oomph, & the labeling. Oh, the labeling. Last night when watching the documentary, “Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work” – I gasped. She catalogs her jokes.
Did you catch some of the categories on the outside for the subjects? “Cooking – Tony Danza”, “Pets – Politically Incorrect”, “Rich Married Women – My Sex Life”, “New York – No Self Worth”.
Apparently the most difficult part of the system is: “Does this one go under ugly or does it go under dumb?”
What I love about this is that it is so particular (& archival) to her body of work & an amazing example of organization that has been made personalized.
I am going to plunge into this as if you’ve all seen “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”.
John Waters (of Cry-Baby & Hairspray fame) once said, “I always identified with Linus. He was not one bit embarrassed by what the others saw as foolishness. It gave me faith as a kid—faith to believe in strange things.”
A good reminder to us as adults to be open about our beliefs & put them out there to the universe, regardless of whether others think it is ‘right’ for us.
I live with someone who loves Woody Allen movies. I’ve seen (almost) all of them. We own at least 10 of them. At once point we had two copies of Annie Hall. So when we went into the theatre to catch a viewing of Woody Allen’s 41st (!!) film – I settled in for some jazz & witty banter.
I wasn’t led astray. This had all the telltale signs of a Woody Allen movie but I felt like it was easily accessible for anyone to immerse themselves in. I loved Owen Wilson’s character as he interacted with his literary & artistic icons. I loved the icons themselves. Dali! Picasso! Stein! It made me want to go do some heavy re-reading of their work. The Parisian scenes caught my imagination even though I once visited there for 3 weeks straight. The man we overheard in the lobby pre-viewing was right – this movie will make you want to save up for a trip to Paris – no doubt about it. I identified with the themes of wanderlust & belonging as well as the concept of ‘living in the present’. I wouldn’t mind re-watching this one.